Hindsight

As the year of 2011 comes to a close I can't help but reflect on the wonder and excitement of it. It truly has been a year of unparallelled learning and growth. When reminiscing, I realize that the only endeavors that sing a song of success and satisfaction in my heart are those that advanced my Father's Kingdom. However,  in the moment, when choosing God's plan over my own, it felt as if I was loosing everything that would lead to a year of happiness and satisfaction . It's funny how our own ideas of what will make us happy are usually wrong in the end. We always think comfort, familiarity, and self-seeking endeavors will lead to greater fulfillment. However, this year my experiences proved quite the opposite. My greatest accomplishments were achieved when choosing risk over comfort, peace over fear, patience over assertiveness, love over revenge, and faith over unbelief. No doubt that in those moments of opposition my human wisdom would try to tell me that I was running away from happiness instead of towards it. But also in those moments I heard the quiet whispers of my Father telling me He alone knew what was best and would bring about true happiness. In the end He won; His truth won. The rewards He brought highly outweighed the sacrifices I made . His way truly is good, His love truly is perfect, and His provision truly is the only way to satisfaction.

Jesus said to her,  "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; -John 11:25

Because of Him, this year I was able to see and hear things I've only dreamed about. These are just some of my favorites, He's so good to me that I couldn't even list them all.  This year I got to; hear the passionate cry of a prodigal son's heart return to the Father, experience the healing power of the Holy Spirit,  hold in my arms the true definition of humility, see a wounded heart restored to fullness then set on fire for Jesus, walk into my calling, discover the depths of friendships,  look fear in the face and destroy it,  find my identity in Christ alone, walk out of the prison of people's approval,  see the passion of a generation rise up to glorify their Savior, experience first hand what it means to be poor in spirit,  raft down the Nile River, stomp on Satan's head,  discover just the beginnings of the heights, the depths, the vastness of His love, and truly find  satisfation, peace, freedom, and happiness.


Jesus, 2012's all for you, you know just what to do with my heart. I give myself away and allow you to lead. Take me on the path that leads to life.

God's way is perfect. All the LORD's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.- 2 Samuel 22:31



Love always,

Brittany <3

The Compass

I see a broken compass. The compass I hold in my hand is one that is spinning out of control. As I look down trying to find my way, it's hands point me in all different directions. It soon becomes apparent that I am walking in circles, getting no where. At last I admit to myself that I am lost. Desperate and dejected I sit down in the forest. As I sit wondering what my next plan of action will be, I hear footsteps in the forest. Jesus is coming; at last someone who can fix my broken compass! As I hand Him the compass to fix, He looks at me with mournful eyes. He gently takes the compass from my hand and places it in my back pocket, then embraces me for a hug. Bewildered and a little frustrated I lean into His arms. He then picks me up and carries me through the woods. I soon forget all about my broken compass and am caught up in the moment of enjoying the presence of my King. After being carried for a while, I find myself thinking "I know I must be heavy, I wish He would let me down." What a burden I must be, plus I'm not a baby, I can walk on my own." He knows my thoughts and says as you wish and puts me down. As we walk hand in hand through the forest, trees that we pass start to look familiar to me. I begin to question. "Haven't we already come this way? Are we walking in circles? "Does He really know where I want to go?" I think back to my own broken compass, thinking this would be a great time for it to start working again. I pull it out of my back pocket and see if it could direct me. Jesus sees me and asks "Why do you think something broken can direct your paths better than I?" I reply arrogantly "Well its all I have besides you and I don't think you know where I want to go. Maybe you didn't hear my request right. I think I might just have to go own my own." With sadness, He looks deep into my eyes and replies "Well the compass points to the south and I am going to the north. Which will you chose?" Although His way is the only way that leads to my destination He still gives me the choice to choose, because He loves me.

Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh?- Galatians 3:3

How often are we guilty of this? In our arrogance we think we know the way we should go better than God himself does. How often do we question, "Why are you leading me this way? This doesn't look like what I wanted it to."  How often we forget God's goodness and faithfulness. His path is always the most fulfilling, satisfying, and life-giving. There is no other way other to a life abundant other than the way He directs. Jesus didn't want to repair my broken compass, there was no need for a compass; He just wanted me to trust Him and follow Him. He didn't want me to use Him to fix the compass, just in the same way He doesn't want us to use Him just to "fix" our lives. He wants to give us a new life, just like He wanted to take me on a new path. When Christ gives us new life, He doesn't want it to look like the cleaned up version of the old. He wants it to be completely different.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!-2 Corinthians 5:17

Also as the story illustrates, He doesn't want us to love Him for what He can do or what He what compass He gave fix, but instead He wants us to love Him for Him. That's what a relationship is, and that's what He requires from us. In the story after being carried for a while I wanted down, because I thought I could do it on my own. This is so true in our lives. After being on a spiritual high with God or after He brings us out of something horrible, we think; "Well that problem's solved"; then we go on with life forgetting about the One who solved the problem. We have the tendency to think we can do it on our own, and time and time again God allows us to chose and we end up finding out that we can't.

There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.-Proverbs 14:12	.

Just like how I thought my broken compass could direct me on the right path, it couldn't. It would never lead me to my destination because it was flawed. So are we, are not perfect and we do not know the whole story, so we can not depend on our compasses to direct us. However there is someone who is perfect, and He has no need for a compass. He is far above all human understanding, and His paths always lead to exactly where we were meant to be.


You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.-Psalm 16:11

The Unfailing Love of the Knight

Today as I was praying, I asked God to show me what He wanted ministry to look like. My scattered thoughts began to form questions like; What did He want me to start? Who did He want me to talk to? Where did He want me to go? Gently and patiently He began to silence my demanding questions by a simple beautiful illustration.
First, I saw a belt that had the word "Truth" engraved on the buckle of it. I then proceeded to look up and see a helmet, sword, and complete suit of armor. There was even a cape attached that changed from hues of red to white. At first, I wasn't sure if this was me suited up for battle or Jesus, but it soon became very clear as I saw the Knight with the white cape on a journey to rescue a princess in a tower. The Knight slayed the dragons that were blocking the way to the princess with such ease and effortlessness, that there really was no competition. As He began to approach the castle that the princess was locked in, all around stood miniature people. They weren't miniature to the princess, but only to the Knight himself. The princess herself, was also very tiny compared to Knight. The people at the foot of the castle were taunting and jeering at her, and she was afraid to move, paralyzed by the fear of them. The Knight then came and rescued the princess from her castle she was frozen in. He walked with ease up to the castle entrance. Even when the people tried to stop Him their attempts were seen as a joke. Their little stones and torches did nothing to His solid armor and He barely even noticed them as He went to save His princess. He gently picked her up and put her on His shoulder. She then radically transformed and her dress turned into the same armor that was worn by the Knight, her armor was even complete with a cape only her's was pink. He then said to the tiny princess, "Just allow me to carry you though, just hold on to me. I will defeat your enemies for you, and I will show you and take you where you need to go. Just rest in me and my love."

After this I was praying to God was this from you or just in my head? And He told me to turn to John 5:32, which at the time I had no idea what it said. I turned to it and it said "But someone else is testifying about me and I assure everything He says about me is true." I then believed He meant the Holy Spirit was the one testifying about Him and this indeed was from God and not something I had just made up in my head. He then lead me to these verses. Romans 8:6 "But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to peace." And Romans 8:9 "You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you."

This is how God answered my questions about ministry and how loving Him is supposed to look like. I believe it can apply to all of us, cause we are all God's children locked away in a tower like the princess. We all have been held captive by something, and we all are desperate for a Knight with a white cape to save us. He alone will carry you through the trials. He doesn't want you to do anything on your own but just allow Him to have you. Allow Him to fully love you. Allow Him to take you where He wants to go. While being in the Father's arms you are able to accomplish anything through Him because He's the one fighting the battle, and He always wins! Just allow Him to love you today, where ever you are, whatever you are going through. He wants you. This is what true ministry looks like, this is where Jesus's heart resides. Loving the Father and allowing yourself to be taken by Him to where He wants to go. This removes all pressure from you, because it's not about you. It's only by His power is anything accomplished. All He wants from us is love, and with love comes an abundance of trust. 
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."-Proverbs 3:5-6


"Not to us, O Lord not to us, but to Your Name goes all the glory for your unfailing love and faithfulness ." Psalm 115:1

New Wineskin

As I sit here folding up my newly washed clothes, the ones that had been with me in Uganda, I can't help but feel angry at them. They stare back at me all clean, soft,  good smelling and perfect. Did they forget where they had been the past 2 months? How could they so easily go back into their American form? Didn't they remember they were the ones that gave a malnourished child comfort? The ones that Margret marveled over? Did they even remember their counterparts that I had given away to African women who gleamed when receiving them? Couldn't they still feel the red African dirt in between their threads?  No. They didn't remember, they couldn't feel. All they knew now was that they were washed clean and ready to fulfill their new purpose, which was to be worn in America.

How could they so easily change back and forget when I can not. As I was toiling over this truth, I realized some things. I had vowed to myself that I would not let myself forget the things I experienced this summer. I had so much determination in doing so that my experience had began to squeeze the life out of me. It had constricted me, paralyzed me, from doing what I am called to do in America. There is no doubt that I was changed this summer, but instead of applying these new found truths to my life in America, I decided to retreat instead. It was almost like I felt like a traitor if I did anything American. My heart didn't want to betray the people and things I learned in Uganda so instead of going into life full force, I decided to just be reserved, bitter, and sad about being back. Surely, if I just kept this animosity up towards America and withdrew from people it would show my loyalty to Uganda and to the changes that were made. However this is not true.

Just like the clothes that were hand washed for 2 months had to come back and be machine washed, so do I. They have a new purpose and so do I. Their purpose is to be worn in America, not Uganda. My new purpose is to be used by God in America, not Uganda. He does not want me disguard everything I learned, but to use what I learned to better serve and  love people in America. I don't need to hold on to my experiences, they will hold on to me, because now they are a part of me therefore they'll never leave. I don't need to be bitter about coming back, I should be joyful because God has ordained for me to be here. I could have been born anywhere in the world and He chose this place, this country, this town. It's not a coincidence that He has me here. He has something for me to do this year that no one else could accomplish. By sending me to Uganda He grew new gifts, characteristics, and talents in me that will further help me accomplish the goals and plans He has for me. If I am ever fortunate enough to get to go back to Uganda I would like to Thank her. Because through her beauty, love, and joy she allowed the creator of the universe to teach me truths that America never could. But now America has to teach me new truths that Uganda never could. And just maybe when the time is right me and Uganda will meet again...

He told them this parable: "No one tears a patch from a new garment and sews it on an old one. If he does, he will have torn the new garment, and the patch from the new will not match the old. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the new wine will burst the skins, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, new wine must be poured into new wineskins.- Luke 5:36-38

One constant

Today is my last day in Africa. Time has been elusive this summer in Uganda. It's here one minute then gone the next.. I feel like I could  have spent 4 more months over here. I think half of my love for this country is rooted in the freeing feeling that it gives. When you are away from the busyness and materialism of the western world you truely have time to examine your heart and who you've become ,and who you want to be. Although God speaks all the time to us, sometimes we rarely hear because we are just too busy to listen. This is something I really learned this summer, we often don't hear God's voice because we are too consumed with our own. We have this grand story that we build up in our minds to be the best way to live our life, so we ignore God when He tells us He wants something different for us. But the truth is God's story for our lives is so much more rich than the one we planned. After all, He is our creator and He made our heart's so He knows what truely satisfies us. We often experience dissatisfaction with our relationship with God because we try to add Him into our own story, and it just doesn't work. He wants all of us. He doesn't want just to be something you do on Sunday, or someone you decide to call on when everything else fails. He wants to be your everything, and He wants you to give Him every part of your heart and life. Even the not so pretty parts, because He is big enough to heal them.
While I'm very sad to leave, I cling to one truth. The God I grew with here this summer will still be with me in America. He will continue to grow me into He completes His good works through me."And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."- Philippians 1:6
Although I have to leave my kids I love at the primary school, my friend Eva that I discipled all summer, African laughter, Mandozis's, and all the members on my team that I've grown to love so dearly, I can keep my God, I can keep His truths, I get to keep all He taught me. And even admist the pain of leaving, somehow He is enough.

 I just wanted to thank everyone one last time who helped support me on this trip. It truely has been a life changing experience. You have been used by God to accomplish great things in Uganda. And I can never repay you for the growth you've helped me experience. I love you all! See you soon.

Faith of The Childlike

As I write this blog, I only have 9 more days of ministry in Lira. This is so hard to believe, I feel like I just arrived here. The last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of emotional highs and lows. One thing has been consistent though, and that is God's goodness. No matter what situation I find myself in here I know that He has a plan for it all and it is ultimately for my good. So whether I think it is the best doesn't matter; because His ways are higher than my ways, and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. He is God and I am not. And the fact of the matter is no matter what my circumstances looks like He is good. He is always good, because it is His very nature.
In Uganda, and in most of Africa, people view spirituality very differently than most of the western world does. For Ugandans, people being raised from the dead is not an unusual testimony. In fact, through our HIV/AIDS meetings we have on Fridays,  two different women have testified they were dead in the coffin and were brought back to life. Whether you chose to believe this or not, the people of Uganda do. It's not even a question; to them it's almost relatively common. They don't question things like we often do. They accept things with a childlike faith. Which reminds me of a verse in Luke 10 that says;
"In that same hour he rejoiced in the Holy Spirit and said, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will." God takes delight in the childlike. He enjoys using the weak to shame the wise. On this trip He has shown that to me over and over again. He wants us to be joyful over our weaknesses. This is why Paul said,  
"That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10.
This verse has never made more sense to me. Now that I have been used by an all powerful God to do things I never thought were possible I am awe struck. I am excited that I have a childlike heart,  I am excited that I am weak and I am excited that maybe I'm not the most qualified. Because now that I realize I am unqualified, He wants to use me. Even more so than people who think they do have it all together. Because the fact is none of us are really qualified to serve the Holy God we do, and the more we realize that the more He will use us. Because what God really desires from us is a humble heart.
"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you"-James 4:10.
So if you feel unequipped, unqualified, or unworthy, you are in the right place. Just allow our mighty God to use you and He will. He will reveal things to you that some only dream of seeing.
"Then turning to the disciples he said privately, “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see!  For I tell you that many prophets and kings desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.” -Luke 10:23-24. I praise God for allowing me to see Him in ways I never thought possible.
There is so much more than a life of meritocracy that many are living. My prayer is that you will be able to experience Him in new incredible, amazing, ways also. I love you all!

My God's not dead, He is surely Alive!

A Light Invading the Dark

Love.
Arguably the most powerful weapon we have on this earth. Often it seems as if something so simple could not be so powerful so we try to complicate it. But the fact of the matter is; the simplest answer to our most complicated questions is love. It's written all over the bible, but somehow we miss the main point. We often complicate Jesus's love with a long list of do's and don't's, when really He tells usall the other commandments can be summed up by this one, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Let us not try to complicate it. God's main concern is not what "good" or "bad" deeds you have done. He is also not out to make you feel guilty, and He does not take delight in sending out His wrath. All He wants; His main concern, is a relationship with you. God sent His only son so you could be in a closer relationship with Him. Jesus freely gave His life to display just how much He wanted this relationship with you. How did we as Christians miss such an obvious point.  If outrageous love is what we are shown and supposed to exemplify why would most non believers not pick this adjective to explain Christians?  Let's love freely, without an agenda, without selfishness, and without entitlement. . I believe if we loved this way, there would be no stopping what God could do through us.

As I see the needs of so many people here in Uganda, it's becoming more apparent it's impossible for me to "meet" everyone's needs. But God has been telling me He hasn't told me to "fix" everyone, that is His job. He just wants me to love the one in front of me; to start there and do all that I am able. Whether it's playing with disabled children; wiping away their tears, giving the kid on the street a band aid for his cut foot, or praying with an orphan who wonders why God isn't answering her prayers for happiness. Whichever way God presents me the oppurtunity to love, I am joyful for it. I am better through it. And He makes me able. I am able to be a light to darkness, and what better lights up a dark world than love.

A Daughter of the King

Sometimes it takes being taken out of your comfort zone to really experience God and how much He has blessed us. I don't even mean this is a material way. Although living in American I am blessed beyond compare. But the blessings I'm most grateful for are far beyond our material gaze. I am blessed by love from a heavenly father who provides for my needs in ways I never recognize. While in the busyness of America is it easy to forget that God is that one who sustains us, and the one from whom all our blessings come. It is only by Him and through Him that we have anything. I just want to thank God for His faithfulness even when my heart wasn't thankful. I want to thank Him for His unwavering love towards me when I was rebellious against Him. He loves me in spite of myself. In this love I can rest and find peace. My place with Him is secure, I am His beloved daughter and nothing can come between me and my inheritance.


This week a 9 year old girl named Bridget has stolen my heart. She said she wanted to have a picture of herself since she had never had one. Since I can't get photos developed here I decided to draw her a picture of herself. In my eyes it wasn't that great, but to her it meant everything. She recently told me that the kids stole her picture from her. It broke my heart. That's the problem with showing any kids in the boarding school special attention. They are all so hungry for love they get bitterly jealous when one kid gets more attention than them. Yesterday Bridget asked me if it was true that Mzungu's (white people); really did have a special power to live forever and never get sick and die. While this was funny it also made me very sad. To them we are super heroes. They think we have all the resources in the world to make their life better and rescue them. It puts a heavy weight on my shoulders to be something that I can't necessarily be. Please continue praying for me that I can show the kids love in a way that is helpful, impactful, life changing, yet realistic. 

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. - 1 John 4:10-11

For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these Children

Well I made it safely to Lira, Uganda! :) After a 20 hour flight and a 6 hour bus ride we made it here a little over a week ago. Everything went so smoothly. I have to say, looking back now it's funny that I had so much anxiety about the process of getting here.  Actually I was thinking on the way to our hotel that it's funny that I had anxiety about this trip at all. God is good, and He is always faithful and He keeps revealing that to me over and over again.

I love this country. Ever since I entered, I have never felt more welcomed or more like a celebrity. haha There is not one person that passes by that doesn't smile or wave, little children even squel when they see us. It's such a contrast to American culture where people are skeptical of strangers, and unwelcoming of accepting the help they need. As I look out the window from this internet cafe I just feel such peace. Uganda is refreshing. The people are so full of joy, love, and laughter. They are so accepting of everyone, people are not critical of each other here and throughly enjoy each others company.

Love radiates in Uganda even in the mist of devastating loss and abandonment.

Since I've been in Lira, I have had the opportunity to teach at a primary school here, and at a school that is run by the Compassion Int. organization. The first day I was put into a classroom of about 50, 9-11 year olds and told to teach. Needless to say I didn't have anything prepared, because I just found out I was doing this 5 minutes before. haha So I told the story of David and Goliah, and then drew some pictures, because I wasn't sure they understood my english too well. The kids thought this was hilarious. So I'm guessing they either really enjoyed my stick figures or were laughing at me. Either way, in the end I grew from this experience and just found joy in being able to share with them. They are so hungry for love and God. It rejuvenates me and helps me remember my purpose here.

Another opportunity I've had so far is too go door to door or should I say hut to hut and share Christ with people in town. Although I went in dragging my feet for this ministry I have to say it's been amazing how God is growing a deeper love in my heart for it. Through this ministry I've met one of my best friends here. Her name is Eva, she is 16 years old and runs a hair salon with her sisters Brenda and Dorcus. They are all orphans and although they weren't born to the same parents they insist they are sisters. They live together in the hair salon which is really a trailer about the size of your ordinary walk in closet. (No joke.) Eva has recently become a Christian and was so excited that I came to tell her and her sisters about Jesus. She tells me she wants to know all about Him and how to pray. She is so hungry for God. It's so exciting to meet someone who is searching for something that you can offer them. So I bought her and her sisters bibles. She told me this was the first gift she had ever received. Her thankfulness brought tears to my eyes. She calls me her best friend and I plan to visit her every day I can this summer and show her all that God has shown me.

Never have I felt more alive. Never have I felt more useful. I know my purpose in life. It's too do things such as these.  Please continue praying for me as I continue serving my God. All glory and power to Him forever and ever!

Forget About The Ordinary

Tomorrow I leave for Lira, Uganda for 2 months. As of right now I'm like a Heinz 57 bottle of emotions. But even over all the mix of emotions and anxiety, the most dominant feeling I have tonight is peace. This is I know is only from God because He is the Prince of Peace and calmer of all my fears. I know that no matter what happens in Uganda this summer, I am in His will, right where He wants me. I will be doing His work, and serving people who are dear to His heart. There's no place I'd rather be than that. When I look back on my life 50 years from now I want it to have meaning, I want to show that I was part of something beautiful. I want it to show I was part of something bigger than myself, bigger than my selfish wants and desires. I feel so blessed to be given this opportunity and am so thankful for the people who have supported me on this trip financially and with prayer.

Already this trip has taught me so much. Like how God blesses you abundantly when you trust. I was able to raise 5,000 dollars for my trip in a month, and met every single deadline that at the time seemed impossible. Throughout this process God continued to teach me that He is sovereign and in control of everything and through Him nothing is impossible. I feel blessed that He decided to teach me this before I left to go to a country where hope is bleak and sometimes it looks like restoration is impossible.

I just want to encourage everyone today, that hope is on the way. And it can be found in the way of Jesus Christ. No matter how many times you've heard this, I pray that you let this truth penetrate your heart and be shown through the way you live your life. Live out your dreams and check your baggage of fear at the door. Christ is bigger than fears, He has already overcome every challenge that we face. Now he's waiting for you to come to Him so He can fulfill your dreams, and give you a life more abundantly.

"Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." -1 John 4:4

This is one of my favorite songs by JJ Heller and I think it pretty much sums up how I feel. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pG8WIAMq0DI