The Series of Uncomfortable Events

Thailand, known as the land of smiles, or least it once was. Now as you look into the eyes of the Thai people you see a lot of emptiness where that smile used to reside. The pursuit of happiness has left many of them lost, confused, and broken. However, maybe the most broken, confused, and lost of them all are the foreigners who travel here to buy them. Yet, I feel incredible hope for Thailand. I somehow see within them a hope for restoration that I’ve never felt before. As soon as our plane landed I felt an indescribable calmness. It was as if I had found the missing piece to a puzzle I wasn’t even aware existed. While we were prayer walking the streets the first day, God started speaking to me about how Thailand has the redemptive gift of mercy. As I get to know the hearts of the ladyboys, prostitutes, and children in the slums, I see it all around. The gift of mercy has been oppressed by the misguided pursuit of love. Their vulnerability has been exploited by a lack of knowledge. Yet somehow, even though their hearts should be hard and calloused, they can’t help but love. It’s their nature. No matter how stone cold their faces are, a little love brightens them up, and you can see the joy trying to bubble up. While showing love on the streets of Pattaya I’ve learned a valuable lesson. Showing that you represent love is not so much in your words as in your actions. Although I can’t speak Thai, ladyboys and prostitutes will just stare at me in wonder, wondering what it is that I have that they don’t. They often will tell me. “ I like you because you have a beautiful smile, why is it that you are so happy?” My answer to them is “ Jesus just makes me happy, and He makes me love you so much I can’t help but smile. “ Now that I’ve traveled from Africa to Thailand, I’ve noticed the countries carry a different kind of strangeness, but offer a very similar truth. Growth is uncomfortable. Without the friction of being in a difficult, challenging, situation, we would forever stay the same. So in my journey I’ve come to a place of learning to embrace the uncomfortable and it is good. Because in the midst of it I know that I am forever changing. While living in the uncomfortable, I’ve actually started to realize the most dreadful thing to happen would be to become comfortable; because in the luxuries of easy, a piece of my heart that was meant to grow dies, and forever gets stuck in a state of dullness. If I’ve learned anything on this journey of life it would be that what we think we desire and what we actually desire are two completely opposite things. God the Father in His goodness knows this, so instead of always giving us what we want gives us what we need. I think that’s why Solomon wrote “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 “ And in his heart a man plans his course but the Lord determines His steps. “ –Proverbs 16:9 So all this to say, I’ve decided to do something that’s uncomfortable to me and stay in Thailand for longer, then travel to Cambodia, then on to Vietnam. This will probably extend my trip about 3 or 4 weeks. I will be traveling with some other girls on our team who also feel called to Southeast Asia, and we will be bringing the kingdom of God to every place we set foot. At this point, I’m not sure how I will have money to fund this, but I believe it’s what God is calling me to do so I know He will provide if it’s His plans for me. Will this be uncomfortable? Yes. Will this be easy? Probably not. But can growth and faith come forth any other way? So I set my sails of trust straight toward the winds of change and embrace the new wine skin that the Lord is bringing. Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. –Isaiah 43:18-19

The Holder of the Keys

As I sit and reflect on the last two and a half months of my life there are so many stories and revelations I want to share. God had been so good to me in this season of life. I truely understand what David meant when he said surely goodness will follow me all my days. My time at Harvest school in Pemba was truely life changing. To live in such an encouraging, loving, spirit filled community was one of the highlights of my time there. What an honor and privilege it was to share life with 300 world changers. It truely encouraged me and called me to higher like nothing else ever has. However, community is nothing without service and love is nothing without action. So where I experienced the most of Jesus's heart was among the poor and broken. The ones that lie dormant in desperation and need. As I sat up in my small African daybed that I was sharing with another girl; the mud hut seemed to get a little smaller and my worldview started to get a little bigger. While hiding under my sleeping bag from the rats that were scurrying across the floor below me, I began to hear my own prideful complaints come out. I was so exhausted and hot and uncomfortable. Minutes seemed like hours and morning couldn't come fast enough. I began dreaming of the moment I could go back to my bunk bed at the Iris base. The bed and room in which I had once complained about now seemed like heaven on earth. As I began to lament to God about how uncomfortable I was, how much I hated those rats, and how I really wished everyone in the world could have nice houses without holes in the roofs, He patiently listened. Then He spoke, "Brittany whose really the unfortunate one here? When you have little you love lots and freedom abounds, but when you have lots you love little and you are bound by your possesions. Why are you asking me to change a situation that you asked to be put in? You said you wanted to have my eyes, you said you wanted to be broken for what breaks me. Well I'm breaking and changing you, and now you're asking me to change the situation. This is where I live. If you want to be like me come live like me. Poor in spirit, desperate for justice, and clothed in humility. " See we say we want to be Gods hands and feet, but to actually live it out is another. We say we will go and do and change the world but how often do we justify our way out of it. All I can say after seeing the brokeness and suffering in Mozambique is that its always worth it to be His servant and he is more than enough for every circumstance. Its time for the church, His body, to wake up and realize the call we have on our lives. He won back the keys to the kingdom. What are we doing with the reward of His suffering? He did not die for us to live in complatency and weakness. Every time I see an orphaned child or dying widow I can't help but wonder if the answer to their prayers isn't sitting on the other side of the world eating potatoe chips on the couch. You see church, we are Gods first choice to the suffering. He gave us the keys and now waits in anticipation, watching to see how we steward the costly gift He gave us. He could have made robots to run the world and bring His kingdom but instead He took a risk and made messy humans with hearts and emotions. And it gave him great pleasure to do this. You bring such a joy to God that He trusts you with his most precious possesion, His people. Therefore, it is impossible for me to go on the same. I know God is going to use me to be the answer to somone's prayer. Even if it's just one life if God would choose me, a weak vessel, it's worth it all! Matthew 16:19 And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.”