Seal It With a Kiss

Jesus said to him, “Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?”

While he was still speaking, Judas came, one of the twelve, and with him a great crowd with swords and clubs, from the chief priests and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, “The one I will kiss is the man; seize him.” And he came up to Jesus at once and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” And he kissed him. Jesus said to him, “Friend, do what you came to do. -Matt 26:46-50

Betrayed with a kiss. The kindest of all things used for the most vial of all things. I've read these verses a hundred times but for some reason this time it hit me different. I felt it deep within my heart as I began to understand the immense blow of betrayal inflicted upon Jesus. He knew Judas would betray Him, yet He wanted him still, He chose him still. Even in the midst of a the most horrific betrayal Jesus continued to love Judas, even allowing him to kiss Him and calling him friend. I can only imagine the eyes of mercy that were gleaming with love as Judas sealed the deal with a kiss.
After wondering why Jesus would allow Judas to kiss him, I started to understand the picture Jesus was painting through this demonstration. The ones who betray the son of God most are the ones who are close enough to kiss Him, yet do not love Him. The verse "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.-Matthew 15:8 took on a whole new meaning after understanding this illustration. We who call ourselves heirs of the Kingdom of God have been invited to kiss the face of the Living God. An invitation that was not possible in the Old Covenant. Even the most favored and chosen of God in the Old Testament did not get to partake in this invitation. However, Jesus through his sacrifice of love, opened the door for a new level of intimacy with the Father by taking on our punishment, so that we might be made holy. We have now been granted access to approach the throne of grace boldly without fear or insecurity because we now appear before God without blemish.

"Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."-Hebrews 4:16

As the Father extents the invitation for greater intimacy with His children, nothing offends Him more than when we reject the heart connection He's yearned for by acting like we love him and accept His offering (the Son); but in reality we keep our hearts far from Him. When we worship Him because of what it's gaining us, or because it's what people told us to do, or even when we worship Him because we want to appear desirable to people; we are worshiping Him in vain.

"They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’”- Matthew 15:9

"Each man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work. If any man’s work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward. If any man’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.- 1 Corinthians 3:13-15

As we continue to serve God our work for Him will be tested and our motives exposed. If the motives behind what we did was really to glorify ourselves it will be exposed as such and will amount to nothing. God alone examines and tests the heart of people and He alone knows why we do the work we do. Let us not be people who kiss Him but do not love Him. People who honor Him with our lips but keep our hearts far out of His reach. Let us be people who do everything unto the Lord and every motive of the heart has been tested and purified through the fires of refinement. Let us redeem the reward that was bought for us in the blood of Jesus. Let us take hold of our heavenly calling and capture the heart that has been extended to us. We have been invited to the most scandalous of love affairs and if we partake in His goodness we will never be unsatisfied.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. - Colossians 3:23-24
Let's draw near to His heart today and kiss Him back with the consuming love He lavishes on us. Granting Him the love he so deeply desires and rightly deserves.

Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and you perish in the way, for his wrath is quickly kindled. Blessed are all who take refuge in him.-Psalm 2:12

The Reign of Power

Recently God has been revealing Himself to me as a Lion, full of splendor, majesty, and might. And very recently, I've seen that same Lion emerging from a cave; not in weakness but full of power. As He appears out of hiding and into the light, He lets out a mighty roar as the ground trembles before Him. I, awestruck and terrified can't help but feel the power and authority He carries and fall down before Him. I know who He is, and I know what He is capable of doing, and I only wish to give Him all the honor and respect due to His name. But then, instead of passing me by, He, the one who holds all power and wisdom, sits down beside me and begins to speak. The one who rules the earth knows me by name.

This scene that has played itself out in my mind's eye has ignited a quickening in my heart that won't be quieted. I just can't get over how powerful He is. I just can't get over who He is. He is the I AM. There seems to be no word brilliant or powerful enough to describe His nature. He just IS. He is everything. And He holds all authority in Heaven and in Earth. I feel that in some ways we've lost sight of this reality. Maybe it is a lack of encounter with this power, or maybe it is that our own theologies have given Him limited room to display all that He is. You can't expect the God of the universe to fit into a nice compact box. Maybe we haven't seen this raw display of power because we've settled for a house cat instead of Lion. House cats are manageable and predictable. But a Lion, well a lion is king of the jungle, and terrifyingly unpredictable at times. God is not predictable nor can He be controlled by mere humans. He is God and He can move anyway He wants. And I believe He enjoys doing this, moving in such a way that when He think we have Him figured out He changes again, destroying any new boxes that we tried to trap Him in. This to some is utterly terrifying because it means lose of control and when you aren't in control you have to trust. Furthermore, trust to some is the greatest of all fears because trust means dependency. When you can't rely on yourself, you have to humble yourself, taking on the likeness of a needy dependent child. In our culture this is viewed negatively because to be needy, means to be reliant. And to be dependent means to be vulnerable. Both of which put us in weak states which aren't appealing. But our strength doesn't come from us, it never has. It comes from Him. If we didn't have an all powerful, good, protective, loving Father we would have reason to fear these things. But we do have that Father, and He is a powerful Lion. So really in the end it all comes down to faith. Do you believe God is who He says He is?

I feel there is a change coming soon to the body of Christ. And I believe it will even start to show it's face as early as 2013. It will be a reign of power. The Lion is coming out of the cave with a mighty roar and the nations will see His emerging. I believe the holy fear and reverence of God will be restored back to the people He created. Once the world sees His power, majesty, and wonders, they will not be able to doubt the existence of spiritual things. It will be displayed before their very eyes. And they will be left with a choice, to accept or reject this God they see set before them. Those who once didn't believe in the supernatural, will no longer have an excuse. He is coming back. And He is pouring out His spirit on the church in a mighty way. He who is the I AM, is coming in power. And I believe it will be a lot like the times of Daniel where God used completely yielded people to display signs and wonders to people in high positions of influence; such as, world leaders, people of influence in media, influential college professors, people in government etc. The time is coming where the world will seek out Christian's insight and advice instead of mocking and disregarding their counsel. The knowledge they possess will be respected and sought after, such as in the time of Daniel when King Nebuchadnezzar and King Darius continually came to Daniel for interpretation of dreams and insight on supernatural events. God is raising up Daniels in this generation, people of tact, intelligence, and out standing wisdom. People that aren't afraid to die for what they believe. People that aren't afraid of Kings and know how to dine with them without being corrupted by them. I believe in doing this He is preparing His bride with power and honor for the wedding day that is approaching. He is preparing the church to steward what Jesus died for them to have. Power has been given into our hands. The church should be what influences the world instead of the world influencing the Church. We are called to change culture not react to it. This shift of influence will take place when the church rises to it's rightful position and when we grab hold of and believe what we have been given. When we believe what we carry inside us. Which is Him. The powerful, beautiful, merciful, magnificent, Lion of the tribe of Judah.

"Then King Darius wrote to all the nations and peoples of every language in all the earth: “May you prosper greatly! “I issue a decree that in every part of my kingdom people must fear and reverence the God of Daniel.
“For he is the living God and he endures forever; his kingdom will not be destroyed, his dominion will never end. He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions." -Daniel 6:25-27

I believe we will see this kind of proclamation from world leaders in my lifetime. We are no different than Daniel, we have the same Spirit living inside us and God was faithful to Daniel, He will be faithful to us. If only we just believe. Therefore, let us fulfill the commission that Jesus gave us and go! Then watch as it happens in all nations of the earth, filling the world with His glory.

"Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." - Matthew 28:18-20

Walking on Water

To honor Him fully we have to live in such a way that unless God shows up, what we are attempting to do is bound to fail.- Bill Johnson, Hosting the Presence.

When Jesus commissioned His disciples He told them to go; to go even without provisions in the natural such as a place to stay, money, or clothing.
"After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. 2 He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. 3 Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. 4 Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road.-Luke 10:1-4"

He told them to make themselves so vulnerable to His purposes that if He didn't come through they would not succeed. This is what I learned to do over the past 6 months. When I packed my bags in May and decided to go on a faith journey with God, not knowing what it may require, I surrendered all to Him with no plan B. I put all dreams, friends, comforts, safety, provisions, and finances into Jesus's hands and told him. "If you do not come through, if you do not show up, I will fail in all aspects. I will not and can not go on without you." After agreeing to His plan and burning all bridges there was no chance of going back to life as normal. I gave it all to Him, until I had nothing left other than trust and reliance on His beautiful nature. So I went; on a journey of walking by faith and not by sight. And oh did He come through; abundantly, unexpectedly, and extravagantly! The journey led me first to Mozambique where He sent people from around the world to teach me how it looked to live a life completely yielded and dependent on His Spirit. Then he took me to some of the darkest and most perverse places in the world. Thailand, Cambodia, and Vietnam, to live out the reality of what I had been taught in the months before. He began stretching my love and trust in Him at such exponential rates my growth was unbeknownst to me at times. He also taught me that sometimes the safest place is in the front lines of the battle; because where there is darkness, the light shines the brightest. "For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ." -2 Corinthians 4:6

So naturally after learning and living this type of lifestyle for 5 months I expected it to continue once I came back to the United States. If He was inviting me back home I fully expected Him to continue providing and surprising me. All the while making me more dependent on Him and entrenched in this Spirit led lifestyle. After all, it was what I had surrendered to, agreed to, and was what I had been taught was the only way to live. So imagine my surprise when I arrived back in America and they didn't like this supernaturally dependent lifestyle. They regarded it as weak, as foolish, as unwise. But it's all I knew, all I could remember. Another way of life seemed hazy now, a memory at best; so I continued through. As I arrived back I had no plans, just open to whatever He wanted. And what He wanted was for me to have a season of rest. Something very foreign to many Americans, and even to me. Rest was something not highly regarded as a high priority or valuable by the culture here. But despite all the voices beckoning me to get realistic, to get practical, to get serious. I stayed firmly planted and rooted in what God had shown me, to rest. I'm sure rest looks very different for many people but for me it looked like spending every day in His presence; singing, worshiping, and talking to Him. Devoting my whole day to what He had to say, not being distracted by money, people, or success. And I'm so thankful for every moment of it, what a blessing it's been to have this time with Him. Sure there have been days where I would begin to question is this really what God said to do? What am I doing with my life!? Why am I here? But I stayed put, not moving to the right or the left, just resting in His promises. I've learned once again that even in America, in a place where everyone might think you have to earn or work for what you want, He always provides freely, always protects, always satisfies, and always lavishes the best gifts on us. This journey back has been quite different than I expected, but nevertheless treasured in my eyes. I think I'll look back on this time for many months to come and smile at the deep heart work He did and preparations He made in this month. I know this season of rest is soon coming to a close and that He has something else for me in this faith journey. But rest assured whatever comes I'll still continue dependent as ever, leaning on childlike faith, and smiling and laughing all the way. And I believe if I listen close enough I can hear Him saying over me... ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; so now I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!-Matthew 25: 21’

A Tree of Life

God began to speak to me the other day about a tree of life. A tree that was full of apples of all kinds; apples that held different destinies for each person. The best fruit was at the top of the tree, furthest away from corruption or destruction, a place where no birds or mammals could steal their goodness. People from all walks of life were invited to come to the tree and receive their apple full of destiny. The crowd all waited behind a wooden picket fence while the Master Gardener Himself explained the choices that lay before them. They could pick their own apple from the tree or let Him pick for them. Either way, He wasn’t displeased. He was so happy to see that they all had came. The crowd began to discuss the matter and many decided that there was no point of waiting for the Master Gardener to pick their apples when they could get their own immediately. So, many rushed forward and began to pick apples that were accessible to them. In the chaos, many picked their apples before it was their time. Indeed, they ended with apples that weren't done blossoming. Others had chosen to settle for rotten apples because it was all they could see to receive in the midst of chaos. They supposed a rotten apple was better than no apple at all. After the crowd left there was a few that stayed behind, the faithful ones He called them. They stayed there just waiting, just watching the Gardener, knowing in His perfect time He would reveal when their apples were finished. He began to announce to the faithful ones that the apples they were waiting on were ready to be picked. They gladly marched forward and received their well done apples; full of perfection and freshness. However, the apples were still a lower grade than the ones at the top of the tree. But the faithful ones counted themselves lucky to have a perfectly done apple. Even though it wasn’t the absolute best, they were still content in knowing they had better than the others who hadn't waited for the perfect time. Then all left, and alas it was just the Master Gardener and I. I keep staring at Him and He in turn would stare back at me. We gazed into each others eyes, searching out the truth that was within. Then, slyly we smiled at each other. We both knew there was a secret only the two of us were aware of. He kept waiting on me to leave or to ask for the apple I could have. But I just kept waiting, and waiting. Then I started singing and smiling all the while knowing I was going to get the very best apple. He said "Don’t you want your apple Brittany?" And I said "I want you to pick it for me." He looked at me directly; almost questioning, probing, my heart and said "But why? You can get a really good one right here, probably everything you’ve ever wanted." And I said "No, I will not settle for reasonable, or feasible, or good, I want the one only you can get, the one I would never be able to reach. And I know you can climb much higher than me. And I know you are much stronger than me. And also, you know all the apples on the tree and you know exactly the best one. So I want YOU to pick it for me." Suddenly, I felt a new excitement rising in my heart. I knew that this apple He would bring back would look quite different than the others. How could you even begin to compare the best apple of the tree with a puny one at the bottom. I knew that this apple would be intimidating at first, because it had been given from the Master Gardener's hands, nothing I could have attained on my own. The Gardener looked back at me, smiled, then laughed. He said "Just wait." As He climbed He started throwing down all kinds of apples that others hadn’t waited on, hundreds and hundreds of apples came tumbling down on me and I started uncontrollably laughing. Then He reached to the very top and picked the very best one and it was gold. He tossed it down to me and said "This.. my daughter is your destiny. You waited, therefore, you have been given a destiny way beyond your imagination. But not only will you have that, I am also giving you all the other blessings that others left behind because they were in a hurry. And not only will you partake of this tree’s fruit but there are also many other trees in my orchard that will also be yours."
As God started explaining to me what this story meant, He showed me many people who were too busy to receive His best for them. They where taking whatever they could grasp, acting as orphans, not beloved children. They were too busy to be blessed, too busy to wait on God. Just as in the story, many of us act before it is our time. We are desperate to receive anything for the Lord so we grasp at what is accessible to us. What is accessible is not His best. Dreams and destinies are meant to sought after, fought for.
"An inheritance claimed too soon will not be blessed at the end." -Proverbs 20:21
In the story there are some who chose a life that was yielded to His timing but didn't let Him pick His best for them. Instead they requested something from Him and wait on Him to do it. They didn't realize their requests for what they wanted were limited to human understanding. Only He can see the big picture. Although He is good in meeting our wants and needs, He has so much better that many of us never get to see, because we do not ask.
Lastly in the story, there are those who let him pick what He wants for their lives, and then they wait. This is the place where dreams of the heart are met that you didn't even realize you had. You become become fulfilled. This is the place where divinity meets your destiny, and you start to realize you are doing the impossible. This is place where waiting gets rewarded. Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.-Isaiah 64:4" He is faithful to His word. There are destinies waiting for each of us. Some will not even grasp the concept, others will show up at the tree but take before their time, and others will wait for the right time but will take the apples with human wisdom not God’s power. But those who wait on the Lord, allowing Him to map out their destinies and future will be richly rewarded. He is waiting for the ones who truly believe Him and trust Him to lavish all the blessings He’s been storing up.
" The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. -2 Chronicles 16:9" Wait for Him and His best and through the process you will come forth as gold.
But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.- Job 23:10"

To Dream a Dream

A dream; begotten by a thought, manifested in the virtue of hope, and experienced through perseverance.
All thoughts begin with some type of voice, and all voices are heard by listening. Therefore, whether knowingly or unknowingly we are all living out what we feel we are hearing. So begs the question, what are you listening to? Through the past couple weeks, God has been teaching me so much about dreams. I feel He wants to awaken and release dreams to people but some aren't listening, nor do some even understand what it means to listen. And others think they aren't capable to hearing or listening to what God is saying.
God gave me this analogy of a child with his parents to help explain the concept. When a baby is born, he doesn't understand what his parents are saying to him. In fact, he doesn't understand language at all and most of what they say may sound just like mumbles. He may not even be able to differentiate between his parents voice and other people talking. But babies, having a predisposition to absorb the environment around them, are naturally inclined to pick up language. So as they grow they learn to recognize their parents voice, then they start to recognize intents of what their parents say, then start to understand directions, and eventually grasp abstract concepts.
We are just like babies when we are first born into our new Christ-like nature. We are new born infants that do not fully understand or fully recognize what God our Father is speaking to us. But just like babies, we were born with a predisposition to learn His language. So as we learn and grow, His voice starts to come through more clearly. At first, it's just an inner knowing, then it's a whisper, then it comes like thunder, full of power and might. Our position in the learning process however, is not to fret or get frustrated when at first we don't hear every detail of His plan. We are children, learning and growing, and you don't pick up everything the first seasons of life. Our position in the process of hearing is only to grow.
So our conquest is to seek to know Him, and we know Him by listening to what He says. So in this journey of seeking, you will grow, because it's in the new nature you were given. For example, a child doesn't have to think about growing; it just naturally happens when they are well nourished and loved. We as children of God get well nourished by abiding in Him; reading His word (our food), and drinking of His love, (revealed to us by the Spirit).
He does speak, and is speaking. And you do hear, and will hear. Just turn your affection and attention to Him. Let hope arise within you. At this very moment He is looking at you and waiting for you to hear His dreams for you. They are so big, so much better than what you can even allow yourself to believe. He is for you. He wants you. He thinks your life is capable of changing the world. He longs to awaken dreams within your heart. The dreams you thought died within you years ago, He's redeeming them all. Let Him speak to you, His heart is burning for you. He wants you to know you are known by the Creator of the Universe. Right now He's releasing life changing dreams to people. He's not bothered by your smallness or inability, only your capability to let Him lead. So dream little child, it's your nature.
A word was secretly brought to me, my ears caught a whisper of it. -Job 4:12

The Almond Branch

As I sit and watch the morning rain pour down from my Bangkok apartment window, I can't help but think about the life that is going on half a world away. If the different culture and language of Thailand didn't make me feel disconnected from America enough, the time difference of 11 hours sure does it. But even amongst the differences and uncomfortable situations that arise here, I know that if I were back in America right now, it wouldn't quite feel like home. Everything has changed there too. Friends have gone back to school, others have moved away, time has changed things. Time has changed situations, feelings, and attitudes. Time has changed me. God knew ahead of time that after this summer I would be so radically wrecked for living an ordinary life that He went ahead and planned something better, something that satisfies much more.
What I had planned for my life is not what is happening. I would have chosen something quite different, something quite average, quite safe, and frankly quite boring. So while I see everyone getting back to the routine of the ordinary, I can't help but laugh at God's sense of humor and goodness over my life. He saw the depths of my heart and saw that ordinary has never been on the radar of what I was striving for. So in His all-knowing, all-merciful nature, I've been placed in the most unusual of circumstances and finally see that I can rejoice greatly that He placed me in them. I would not trade the stretching, growing, and breaking that has happened in these months for any amount of ordinary or stability. I think back to the girl's hearts that I've had an opportunity to touch, to the broken children's hands I've been able to hold, to the bread and water I've been able to give to the prisoners, to the simple words that said at the right moment set the captives free. It was all and is so worth it.
So, while having a couple of days to rest before heading off to Cambodia, I've been asking God to speak and refresh me with new insight on who He is and who I am. Amidst all the busyness of the city life and ministry work, God has been speaking. He has been speaking to me about doves, rainbows, olive, and almond branches.(More evidence that God has a sense of humor.) While we were finishing moving into our apartment, the most beautiful rainbow ever appeared in the sky right outside our window. Then a couple seconds after, a white bird that looked like a dove, flew beside our 8th story window. Since that day, I've seen these white birds flying every morning, two by two, seemingly always looking at me trying to tell me something. So I began to ask God what it all meant and He gave me a beautiful picture of it for better understanding. He showed me two doves descending on me, one on each shoulder. They were each holding a different branch in their beaks, and one held a almond branch, the other an olive branch. The both dropped them into my hands and whispered "Chosen, Chosen!" into my ears. I knew that the doves represented the Holy Spirit and I knew the olive branch represented peace, and fresh beginnings with God, but what did the almond branch mean? So I looked it up and discovered the almond branch was used to show that God chose Aaron and His tribe to be His priests. So it represents being chosen for a higher calling, or an awakening of priesthood. What a beautiful identity God is giving me, calling me to come higher, calling me to come farther, calling me to be His chosen vessel. God then lead me to read these verses in Jeremiah and everything came together.
The word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” “Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.” But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord. Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.” The word of the Lord came to me: “What do you see, Jeremiah?”“I see the branch of an almond tree,” I replied. The Lord said to me, “You have seen correctly, for I am watching to see that my word is fulfilled. -Jeremiah 1:4-12. Praise God that He chose me to be chosen by Him as His prophet to the nations! Let all of these promises over my life come true. I'm so thankful for His constant voice speaking to me, reminding me of who I am when I feel confused, lost, or far from home. He is never far from us and is closer than the next beat of our heart. He is constant and good even when our circumstances are not. He is our hope, the joy set before me. He is my reward, the only thing worth living for.
"But let all who take refuge in you be glad, let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield" -Psalm 5:11-12

The Series of Uncomfortable Events

Thailand, known as the land of smiles, or least it once was. Now as you look into the eyes of the Thai people you see a lot of emptiness where that smile used to reside. The pursuit of happiness has left many of them lost, confused, and broken. However, maybe the most broken, confused, and lost of them all are the foreigners who travel here to buy them. Yet, I feel incredible hope for Thailand. I somehow see within them a hope for restoration that I’ve never felt before. As soon as our plane landed I felt an indescribable calmness. It was as if I had found the missing piece to a puzzle I wasn’t even aware existed. While we were prayer walking the streets the first day, God started speaking to me about how Thailand has the redemptive gift of mercy. As I get to know the hearts of the ladyboys, prostitutes, and children in the slums, I see it all around. The gift of mercy has been oppressed by the misguided pursuit of love. Their vulnerability has been exploited by a lack of knowledge. Yet somehow, even though their hearts should be hard and calloused, they can’t help but love. It’s their nature. No matter how stone cold their faces are, a little love brightens them up, and you can see the joy trying to bubble up. While showing love on the streets of Pattaya I’ve learned a valuable lesson. Showing that you represent love is not so much in your words as in your actions. Although I can’t speak Thai, ladyboys and prostitutes will just stare at me in wonder, wondering what it is that I have that they don’t. They often will tell me. “ I like you because you have a beautiful smile, why is it that you are so happy?” My answer to them is “ Jesus just makes me happy, and He makes me love you so much I can’t help but smile. “ Now that I’ve traveled from Africa to Thailand, I’ve noticed the countries carry a different kind of strangeness, but offer a very similar truth. Growth is uncomfortable. Without the friction of being in a difficult, challenging, situation, we would forever stay the same. So in my journey I’ve come to a place of learning to embrace the uncomfortable and it is good. Because in the midst of it I know that I am forever changing. While living in the uncomfortable, I’ve actually started to realize the most dreadful thing to happen would be to become comfortable; because in the luxuries of easy, a piece of my heart that was meant to grow dies, and forever gets stuck in a state of dullness. If I’ve learned anything on this journey of life it would be that what we think we desire and what we actually desire are two completely opposite things. God the Father in His goodness knows this, so instead of always giving us what we want gives us what we need. I think that’s why Solomon wrote “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 “ And in his heart a man plans his course but the Lord determines His steps. “ –Proverbs 16:9 So all this to say, I’ve decided to do something that’s uncomfortable to me and stay in Thailand for longer, then travel to Cambodia, then on to Vietnam. This will probably extend my trip about 3 or 4 weeks. I will be traveling with some other girls on our team who also feel called to Southeast Asia, and we will be bringing the kingdom of God to every place we set foot. At this point, I’m not sure how I will have money to fund this, but I believe it’s what God is calling me to do so I know He will provide if it’s His plans for me. Will this be uncomfortable? Yes. Will this be easy? Probably not. But can growth and faith come forth any other way? So I set my sails of trust straight toward the winds of change and embrace the new wine skin that the Lord is bringing. Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. –Isaiah 43:18-19