Jailbreak

Our generation is trapped in the prison of comparison. 

In everything we do, we look around to see if we measure up. Am I good enough? Pretty enough? Smart enough? Funny enough? We put ourselves on display like jesters hoping to measure up to the rest of the crowd, not wanting to be forgotten about and left alone. We look for validation in all the wrong places. It even spills over in to our relationship with God. In the church I find that most people feel inadequate. They sit back in the pew and wish they could be as good of a speaker as the preacher, or they wish they could sing like the worship leader, or they desire to have an amazing testimony like their friend. As we sit back and ponder these things, we come to the conclusion that God must just love that person more, or maybe they served Him better. Then we think to ourselves, now I'll just go try harder and serve him and sacrifice all that I can and read the Bible 5 times over, then God will have to love me as much as that person!
These thoughts are all too familiar to me, because I too was stuck in the prison of comparing and validating my faith by looking at other people who were deemed "great spiritual leaders". But I broke free, and you can too. Jesus love you 100 percent, 100 percent of the time. No matter what you did in the past or what you do in the future, His love for you is exactly the same. You can neither earn it, nor can it be taken away from you. He loves you the same amount as the person you deem as the worst "sinner" in the world, and as much as the person you deem as the "holiest" in the world.
What we need to realize though is the way He loves each of is unique, because we are all unique in our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes. Instead of looking to someone else's relationship with Him, wishing yours was that, meet Him where you are in yours. Love Him where you are. Your relationship with Him doesn't have to look like anyone elses, and that's the freedom in Christ. You may feel like God wants you to dance like a crazy animal in worship, then do it! Or you might be the person who God is telling to sit and be silent in prayer, then do it! You don't have to be dancing like a crazy animal for God to love you as much as that person. He tells us each different things! You can't make your relationship with Him look like other people's or you lose the unique value of it that God values so tenderly.

Only when we cling to the relationship God is calling us too do we fulfill our God given destinies. Looking to others for direction in what God is calling us to will only leave us on the back pew, feeling lonely and insignificant. 





For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous--how well I know it.- Psalm 139:14

Love you all,

Brittany

Hindsight

As the year of 2011 comes to a close I can't help but reflect on the wonder and excitement of it. It truly has been a year of unparallelled learning and growth. When reminiscing, I realize that the only endeavors that sing a song of success and satisfaction in my heart are those that advanced my Father's Kingdom. However,  in the moment, when choosing God's plan over my own, it felt as if I was loosing everything that would lead to a year of happiness and satisfaction . It's funny how our own ideas of what will make us happy are usually wrong in the end. We always think comfort, familiarity, and self-seeking endeavors will lead to greater fulfillment. However, this year my experiences proved quite the opposite. My greatest accomplishments were achieved when choosing risk over comfort, peace over fear, patience over assertiveness, love over revenge, and faith over unbelief. No doubt that in those moments of opposition my human wisdom would try to tell me that I was running away from happiness instead of towards it. But also in those moments I heard the quiet whispers of my Father telling me He alone knew what was best and would bring about true happiness. In the end He won; His truth won. The rewards He brought highly outweighed the sacrifices I made . His way truly is good, His love truly is perfect, and His provision truly is the only way to satisfaction.

Jesus said to her,  "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; -John 11:25

Because of Him, this year I was able to see and hear things I've only dreamed about. These are just some of my favorites, He's so good to me that I couldn't even list them all.  This year I got to; hear the passionate cry of a prodigal son's heart return to the Father, experience the healing power of the Holy Spirit,  hold in my arms the true definition of humility, see a wounded heart restored to fullness then set on fire for Jesus, walk into my calling, discover the depths of friendships,  look fear in the face and destroy it,  find my identity in Christ alone, walk out of the prison of people's approval,  see the passion of a generation rise up to glorify their Savior, experience first hand what it means to be poor in spirit,  raft down the Nile River, stomp on Satan's head,  discover just the beginnings of the heights, the depths, the vastness of His love, and truly find  satisfation, peace, freedom, and happiness.


Jesus, 2012's all for you, you know just what to do with my heart. I give myself away and allow you to lead. Take me on the path that leads to life.

God's way is perfect. All the LORD's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.- 2 Samuel 22:31



Love always,

Brittany <3

The Compass

I see a broken compass. The compass I hold in my hand is one that is spinning out of control. As I look down trying to find my way, it's hands point me in all different directions. It soon becomes apparent that I am walking in circles, getting no where. At last I admit to myself that I am lost. Desperate and dejected I sit down in the forest. As I sit wondering what my next plan of action will be, I hear footsteps in the forest. Jesus is coming; at last someone who can fix my broken compass! As I hand Him the compass to fix, He looks at me with mournful eyes. He gently takes the compass from my hand and places it in my back pocket, then embraces me for a hug. Bewildered and a little frustrated I lean into His arms. He then picks me up and carries me through the woods. I soon forget all about my broken compass and am caught up in the moment of enjoying the presence of my King. After being carried for a while, I find myself thinking "I know I must be heavy, I wish He would let me down." What a burden I must be, plus I'm not a baby, I can walk on my own." He knows my thoughts and says as you wish and puts me down. As we walk hand in hand through the forest, trees that we pass start to look familiar to me. I begin to question. "Haven't we already come this way? Are we walking in circles? "Does He really know where I want to go?" I think back to my own broken compass, thinking this would be a great time for it to start working again. I pull it out of my back pocket and see if it could direct me. Jesus sees me and asks "Why do you think something broken can direct your paths better than I?" I reply arrogantly "Well its all I have besides you and I don't think you know where I want to go. Maybe you didn't hear my request right. I think I might just have to go own my own." With sadness, He looks deep into my eyes and replies "Well the compass points to the south and I am going to the north. Which will you chose?" Although His way is the only way that leads to my destination He still gives me the choice to choose, because He loves me.

Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh?- Galatians 3:3

How often are we guilty of this? In our arrogance we think we know the way we should go better than God himself does. How often do we question, "Why are you leading me this way? This doesn't look like what I wanted it to."  How often we forget God's goodness and faithfulness. His path is always the most fulfilling, satisfying, and life-giving. There is no other way other to a life abundant other than the way He directs. Jesus didn't want to repair my broken compass, there was no need for a compass; He just wanted me to trust Him and follow Him. He didn't want me to use Him to fix the compass, just in the same way He doesn't want us to use Him just to "fix" our lives. He wants to give us a new life, just like He wanted to take me on a new path. When Christ gives us new life, He doesn't want it to look like the cleaned up version of the old. He wants it to be completely different.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!-2 Corinthians 5:17

Also as the story illustrates, He doesn't want us to love Him for what He can do or what He what compass He gave fix, but instead He wants us to love Him for Him. That's what a relationship is, and that's what He requires from us. In the story after being carried for a while I wanted down, because I thought I could do it on my own. This is so true in our lives. After being on a spiritual high with God or after He brings us out of something horrible, we think; "Well that problem's solved"; then we go on with life forgetting about the One who solved the problem. We have the tendency to think we can do it on our own, and time and time again God allows us to chose and we end up finding out that we can't.

There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.-Proverbs 14:12	.

Just like how I thought my broken compass could direct me on the right path, it couldn't. It would never lead me to my destination because it was flawed. So are we, are not perfect and we do not know the whole story, so we can not depend on our compasses to direct us. However there is someone who is perfect, and He has no need for a compass. He is far above all human understanding, and His paths always lead to exactly where we were meant to be.


You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.-Psalm 16:11

The Unfailing Love of the Knight

Today as I was praying, I asked God to show me what He wanted ministry to look like. My scattered thoughts began to form questions like; What did He want me to start? Who did He want me to talk to? Where did He want me to go? Gently and patiently He began to silence my demanding questions by a simple beautiful illustration.
First, I saw a belt that had the word "Truth" engraved on the buckle of it. I then proceeded to look up and see a helmet, sword, and complete suit of armor. There was even a cape attached that changed from hues of red to white. At first, I wasn't sure if this was me suited up for battle or Jesus, but it soon became very clear as I saw the Knight with the white cape on a journey to rescue a princess in a tower. The Knight slayed the dragons that were blocking the way to the princess with such ease and effortlessness, that there really was no competition. As He began to approach the castle that the princess was locked in, all around stood miniature people. They weren't miniature to the princess, but only to the Knight himself. The princess herself, was also very tiny compared to Knight. The people at the foot of the castle were taunting and jeering at her, and she was afraid to move, paralyzed by the fear of them. The Knight then came and rescued the princess from her castle she was frozen in. He walked with ease up to the castle entrance. Even when the people tried to stop Him their attempts were seen as a joke. Their little stones and torches did nothing to His solid armor and He barely even noticed them as He went to save His princess. He gently picked her up and put her on His shoulder. She then radically transformed and her dress turned into the same armor that was worn by the Knight, her armor was even complete with a cape only her's was pink. He then said to the tiny princess, "Just allow me to carry you though, just hold on to me. I will defeat your enemies for you, and I will show you and take you where you need to go. Just rest in me and my love."

After this I was praying to God was this from you or just in my head? And He told me to turn to John 5:32, which at the time I had no idea what it said. I turned to it and it said "But someone else is testifying about me and I assure everything He says about me is true." I then believed He meant the Holy Spirit was the one testifying about Him and this indeed was from God and not something I had just made up in my head. He then lead me to these verses. Romans 8:6 "But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to peace." And Romans 8:9 "You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you."

This is how God answered my questions about ministry and how loving Him is supposed to look like. I believe it can apply to all of us, cause we are all God's children locked away in a tower like the princess. We all have been held captive by something, and we all are desperate for a Knight with a white cape to save us. He alone will carry you through the trials. He doesn't want you to do anything on your own but just allow Him to have you. Allow Him to fully love you. Allow Him to take you where He wants to go. While being in the Father's arms you are able to accomplish anything through Him because He's the one fighting the battle, and He always wins! Just allow Him to love you today, where ever you are, whatever you are going through. He wants you. This is what true ministry looks like, this is where Jesus's heart resides. Loving the Father and allowing yourself to be taken by Him to where He wants to go. This removes all pressure from you, because it's not about you. It's only by His power is anything accomplished. All He wants from us is love, and with love comes an abundance of trust. 
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."-Proverbs 3:5-6


"Not to us, O Lord not to us, but to Your Name goes all the glory for your unfailing love and faithfulness ." Psalm 115:1

New Wineskin

As I sit here folding up my newly washed clothes, the ones that had been with me in Uganda, I can't help but feel angry at them. They stare back at me all clean, soft,  good smelling and perfect. Did they forget where they had been the past 2 months? How could they so easily go back into their American form? Didn't they remember they were the ones that gave a malnourished child comfort? The ones that Margret marveled over? Did they even remember their counterparts that I had given away to African women who gleamed when receiving them? Couldn't they still feel the red African dirt in between their threads?  No. They didn't remember, they couldn't feel. All they knew now was that they were washed clean and ready to fulfill their new purpose, which was to be worn in America.

How could they so easily change back and forget when I can not. As I was toiling over this truth, I realized some things. I had vowed to myself that I would not let myself forget the things I experienced this summer. I had so much determination in doing so that my experience had began to squeeze the life out of me. It had constricted me, paralyzed me, from doing what I am called to do in America. There is no doubt that I was changed this summer, but instead of applying these new found truths to my life in America, I decided to retreat instead. It was almost like I felt like a traitor if I did anything American. My heart didn't want to betray the people and things I learned in Uganda so instead of going into life full force, I decided to just be reserved, bitter, and sad about being back. Surely, if I just kept this animosity up towards America and withdrew from people it would show my loyalty to Uganda and to the changes that were made. However this is not true.

Just like the clothes that were hand washed for 2 months had to come back and be machine washed, so do I. They have a new purpose and so do I. Their purpose is to be worn in America, not Uganda. My new purpose is to be used by God in America, not Uganda. He does not want me disguard everything I learned, but to use what I learned to better serve and  love people in America. I don't need to hold on to my experiences, they will hold on to me, because now they are a part of me therefore they'll never leave. I don't need to be bitter about coming back, I should be joyful because God has ordained for me to be here. I could have been born anywhere in the world and He chose this place, this country, this town. It's not a coincidence that He has me here. He has something for me to do this year that no one else could accomplish. By sending me to Uganda He grew new gifts, characteristics, and talents in me that will further help me accomplish the goals and plans He has for me. If I am ever fortunate enough to get to go back to Uganda I would like to Thank her. Because through her beauty, love, and joy she allowed the creator of the universe to teach me truths that America never could. But now America has to teach me new truths that Uganda never could. And just maybe when the time is right me and Uganda will meet again...

He told them this parable: "No one tears a patch from a new garment and sews it on an old one. If he does, he will have torn the new garment, and the patch from the new will not match the old. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the new wine will burst the skins, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, new wine must be poured into new wineskins.- Luke 5:36-38

One constant

Today is my last day in Africa. Time has been elusive this summer in Uganda. It's here one minute then gone the next.. I feel like I could  have spent 4 more months over here. I think half of my love for this country is rooted in the freeing feeling that it gives. When you are away from the busyness and materialism of the western world you truely have time to examine your heart and who you've become ,and who you want to be. Although God speaks all the time to us, sometimes we rarely hear because we are just too busy to listen. This is something I really learned this summer, we often don't hear God's voice because we are too consumed with our own. We have this grand story that we build up in our minds to be the best way to live our life, so we ignore God when He tells us He wants something different for us. But the truth is God's story for our lives is so much more rich than the one we planned. After all, He is our creator and He made our heart's so He knows what truely satisfies us. We often experience dissatisfaction with our relationship with God because we try to add Him into our own story, and it just doesn't work. He wants all of us. He doesn't want just to be something you do on Sunday, or someone you decide to call on when everything else fails. He wants to be your everything, and He wants you to give Him every part of your heart and life. Even the not so pretty parts, because He is big enough to heal them.
While I'm very sad to leave, I cling to one truth. The God I grew with here this summer will still be with me in America. He will continue to grow me into He completes His good works through me."And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."- Philippians 1:6
Although I have to leave my kids I love at the primary school, my friend Eva that I discipled all summer, African laughter, Mandozis's, and all the members on my team that I've grown to love so dearly, I can keep my God, I can keep His truths, I get to keep all He taught me. And even admist the pain of leaving, somehow He is enough.

 I just wanted to thank everyone one last time who helped support me on this trip. It truely has been a life changing experience. You have been used by God to accomplish great things in Uganda. And I can never repay you for the growth you've helped me experience. I love you all! See you soon.

Faith of The Childlike

As I write this blog, I only have 9 more days of ministry in Lira. This is so hard to believe, I feel like I just arrived here. The last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of emotional highs and lows. One thing has been consistent though, and that is God's goodness. No matter what situation I find myself in here I know that He has a plan for it all and it is ultimately for my good. So whether I think it is the best doesn't matter; because His ways are higher than my ways, and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. He is God and I am not. And the fact of the matter is no matter what my circumstances looks like He is good. He is always good, because it is His very nature.
In Uganda, and in most of Africa, people view spirituality very differently than most of the western world does. For Ugandans, people being raised from the dead is not an unusual testimony. In fact, through our HIV/AIDS meetings we have on Fridays,  two different women have testified they were dead in the coffin and were brought back to life. Whether you chose to believe this or not, the people of Uganda do. It's not even a question; to them it's almost relatively common. They don't question things like we often do. They accept things with a childlike faith. Which reminds me of a verse in Luke 10 that says;
"In that same hour he rejoiced in the Holy Spirit and said, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will." God takes delight in the childlike. He enjoys using the weak to shame the wise. On this trip He has shown that to me over and over again. He wants us to be joyful over our weaknesses. This is why Paul said,  
"That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10.
This verse has never made more sense to me. Now that I have been used by an all powerful God to do things I never thought were possible I am awe struck. I am excited that I have a childlike heart,  I am excited that I am weak and I am excited that maybe I'm not the most qualified. Because now that I realize I am unqualified, He wants to use me. Even more so than people who think they do have it all together. Because the fact is none of us are really qualified to serve the Holy God we do, and the more we realize that the more He will use us. Because what God really desires from us is a humble heart.
"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you"-James 4:10.
So if you feel unequipped, unqualified, or unworthy, you are in the right place. Just allow our mighty God to use you and He will. He will reveal things to you that some only dream of seeing.
"Then turning to the disciples he said privately, “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see!  For I tell you that many prophets and kings desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.” -Luke 10:23-24. I praise God for allowing me to see Him in ways I never thought possible.
There is so much more than a life of meritocracy that many are living. My prayer is that you will be able to experience Him in new incredible, amazing, ways also. I love you all!

My God's not dead, He is surely Alive!