The Almond Branch

As I sit and watch the morning rain pour down from my Bangkok apartment window, I can't help but think about the life that is going on half a world away. If the different culture and language of Thailand didn't make me feel disconnected from America enough, the time difference of 11 hours sure does it. But even amongst the differences and uncomfortable situations that arise here, I know that if I were back in America right now, it wouldn't quite feel like home. Everything has changed there too. Friends have gone back to school, others have moved away, time has changed things. Time has changed situations, feelings, and attitudes. Time has changed me. God knew ahead of time that after this summer I would be so radically wrecked for living an ordinary life that He went ahead and planned something better, something that satisfies much more.
What I had planned for my life is not what is happening. I would have chosen something quite different, something quite average, quite safe, and frankly quite boring. So while I see everyone getting back to the routine of the ordinary, I can't help but laugh at God's sense of humor and goodness over my life. He saw the depths of my heart and saw that ordinary has never been on the radar of what I was striving for. So in His all-knowing, all-merciful nature, I've been placed in the most unusual of circumstances and finally see that I can rejoice greatly that He placed me in them. I would not trade the stretching, growing, and breaking that has happened in these months for any amount of ordinary or stability. I think back to the girl's hearts that I've had an opportunity to touch, to the broken children's hands I've been able to hold, to the bread and water I've been able to give to the prisoners, to the simple words that said at the right moment set the captives free. It was all and is so worth it.
So, while having a couple of days to rest before heading off to Cambodia, I've been asking God to speak and refresh me with new insight on who He is and who I am. Amidst all the busyness of the city life and ministry work, God has been speaking. He has been speaking to me about doves, rainbows, olive, and almond branches.(More evidence that God has a sense of humor.) While we were finishing moving into our apartment, the most beautiful rainbow ever appeared in the sky right outside our window. Then a couple seconds after, a white bird that looked like a dove, flew beside our 8th story window. Since that day, I've seen these white birds flying every morning, two by two, seemingly always looking at me trying to tell me something. So I began to ask God what it all meant and He gave me a beautiful picture of it for better understanding. He showed me two doves descending on me, one on each shoulder. They were each holding a different branch in their beaks, and one held a almond branch, the other an olive branch. The both dropped them into my hands and whispered "Chosen, Chosen!" into my ears. I knew that the doves represented the Holy Spirit and I knew the olive branch represented peace, and fresh beginnings with God, but what did the almond branch mean? So I looked it up and discovered the almond branch was used to show that God chose Aaron and His tribe to be His priests. So it represents being chosen for a higher calling, or an awakening of priesthood. What a beautiful identity God is giving me, calling me to come higher, calling me to come farther, calling me to be His chosen vessel. God then lead me to read these verses in Jeremiah and everything came together.
The word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” “Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.” But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord. Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.” The word of the Lord came to me: “What do you see, Jeremiah?”“I see the branch of an almond tree,” I replied. The Lord said to me, “You have seen correctly, for I am watching to see that my word is fulfilled. -Jeremiah 1:4-12. Praise God that He chose me to be chosen by Him as His prophet to the nations! Let all of these promises over my life come true. I'm so thankful for His constant voice speaking to me, reminding me of who I am when I feel confused, lost, or far from home. He is never far from us and is closer than the next beat of our heart. He is constant and good even when our circumstances are not. He is our hope, the joy set before me. He is my reward, the only thing worth living for.
"But let all who take refuge in you be glad, let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield" -Psalm 5:11-12

The Series of Uncomfortable Events

Thailand, known as the land of smiles, or least it once was. Now as you look into the eyes of the Thai people you see a lot of emptiness where that smile used to reside. The pursuit of happiness has left many of them lost, confused, and broken. However, maybe the most broken, confused, and lost of them all are the foreigners who travel here to buy them. Yet, I feel incredible hope for Thailand. I somehow see within them a hope for restoration that I’ve never felt before. As soon as our plane landed I felt an indescribable calmness. It was as if I had found the missing piece to a puzzle I wasn’t even aware existed. While we were prayer walking the streets the first day, God started speaking to me about how Thailand has the redemptive gift of mercy. As I get to know the hearts of the ladyboys, prostitutes, and children in the slums, I see it all around. The gift of mercy has been oppressed by the misguided pursuit of love. Their vulnerability has been exploited by a lack of knowledge. Yet somehow, even though their hearts should be hard and calloused, they can’t help but love. It’s their nature. No matter how stone cold their faces are, a little love brightens them up, and you can see the joy trying to bubble up. While showing love on the streets of Pattaya I’ve learned a valuable lesson. Showing that you represent love is not so much in your words as in your actions. Although I can’t speak Thai, ladyboys and prostitutes will just stare at me in wonder, wondering what it is that I have that they don’t. They often will tell me. “ I like you because you have a beautiful smile, why is it that you are so happy?” My answer to them is “ Jesus just makes me happy, and He makes me love you so much I can’t help but smile. “ Now that I’ve traveled from Africa to Thailand, I’ve noticed the countries carry a different kind of strangeness, but offer a very similar truth. Growth is uncomfortable. Without the friction of being in a difficult, challenging, situation, we would forever stay the same. So in my journey I’ve come to a place of learning to embrace the uncomfortable and it is good. Because in the midst of it I know that I am forever changing. While living in the uncomfortable, I’ve actually started to realize the most dreadful thing to happen would be to become comfortable; because in the luxuries of easy, a piece of my heart that was meant to grow dies, and forever gets stuck in a state of dullness. If I’ve learned anything on this journey of life it would be that what we think we desire and what we actually desire are two completely opposite things. God the Father in His goodness knows this, so instead of always giving us what we want gives us what we need. I think that’s why Solomon wrote “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 “ And in his heart a man plans his course but the Lord determines His steps. “ –Proverbs 16:9 So all this to say, I’ve decided to do something that’s uncomfortable to me and stay in Thailand for longer, then travel to Cambodia, then on to Vietnam. This will probably extend my trip about 3 or 4 weeks. I will be traveling with some other girls on our team who also feel called to Southeast Asia, and we will be bringing the kingdom of God to every place we set foot. At this point, I’m not sure how I will have money to fund this, but I believe it’s what God is calling me to do so I know He will provide if it’s His plans for me. Will this be uncomfortable? Yes. Will this be easy? Probably not. But can growth and faith come forth any other way? So I set my sails of trust straight toward the winds of change and embrace the new wine skin that the Lord is bringing. Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. –Isaiah 43:18-19

The Holder of the Keys

As I sit and reflect on the last two and a half months of my life there are so many stories and revelations I want to share. God had been so good to me in this season of life. I truely understand what David meant when he said surely goodness will follow me all my days. My time at Harvest school in Pemba was truely life changing. To live in such an encouraging, loving, spirit filled community was one of the highlights of my time there. What an honor and privilege it was to share life with 300 world changers. It truely encouraged me and called me to higher like nothing else ever has. However, community is nothing without service and love is nothing without action. So where I experienced the most of Jesus's heart was among the poor and broken. The ones that lie dormant in desperation and need. As I sat up in my small African daybed that I was sharing with another girl; the mud hut seemed to get a little smaller and my worldview started to get a little bigger. While hiding under my sleeping bag from the rats that were scurrying across the floor below me, I began to hear my own prideful complaints come out. I was so exhausted and hot and uncomfortable. Minutes seemed like hours and morning couldn't come fast enough. I began dreaming of the moment I could go back to my bunk bed at the Iris base. The bed and room in which I had once complained about now seemed like heaven on earth. As I began to lament to God about how uncomfortable I was, how much I hated those rats, and how I really wished everyone in the world could have nice houses without holes in the roofs, He patiently listened. Then He spoke, "Brittany whose really the unfortunate one here? When you have little you love lots and freedom abounds, but when you have lots you love little and you are bound by your possesions. Why are you asking me to change a situation that you asked to be put in? You said you wanted to have my eyes, you said you wanted to be broken for what breaks me. Well I'm breaking and changing you, and now you're asking me to change the situation. This is where I live. If you want to be like me come live like me. Poor in spirit, desperate for justice, and clothed in humility. " See we say we want to be Gods hands and feet, but to actually live it out is another. We say we will go and do and change the world but how often do we justify our way out of it. All I can say after seeing the brokeness and suffering in Mozambique is that its always worth it to be His servant and he is more than enough for every circumstance. Its time for the church, His body, to wake up and realize the call we have on our lives. He won back the keys to the kingdom. What are we doing with the reward of His suffering? He did not die for us to live in complatency and weakness. Every time I see an orphaned child or dying widow I can't help but wonder if the answer to their prayers isn't sitting on the other side of the world eating potatoe chips on the couch. You see church, we are Gods first choice to the suffering. He gave us the keys and now waits in anticipation, watching to see how we steward the costly gift He gave us. He could have made robots to run the world and bring His kingdom but instead He took a risk and made messy humans with hearts and emotions. And it gave him great pleasure to do this. You bring such a joy to God that He trusts you with his most precious possesion, His people. Therefore, it is impossible for me to go on the same. I know God is going to use me to be the answer to somone's prayer. Even if it's just one life if God would choose me, a weak vessel, it's worth it all! Matthew 16:19 And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.”

In the Heart of the Father

Over the past 4 weeks I have become so overwhelmed and overcome by the love, supremacy, and power of God. I feel so blessed to be in this place of abiding in Him and resting in His goodness. Every day when I wake up I realize just how blessed I am to be His daughter. His love for us is unfathomable. His power is infinite. He alone is worthy to be praised.

Three days ago while in the bush, I was able to pray for a man who wasn’t able to see and he received his sight through the healing power of Jesus. He had been sent by his wife to come to us because she believed he would receive his sight when the Christians prayed for him. The faith here is incredible and healings are just the ordinary. Almost everyone I’ve prayed for to be healed whether it be broken noses, hurt backs, stomach problems, or headaches has been healed. The supernatural is the ordinary here. Daily we see Muslims coming to Jesus and witchcraft being broken off of families.

But what I’ve been learning most and valuing above all my experiences is the love of the Father. The miracles are just an expression of his love for us. They mean nothing if they can’t demonstrate the character of His heart. I highly value and have been blessed by all the amazing speakers I’ve heard, but they are only small drops in an ocean of who He is.  It’s him I want. My favorite times here have been hiding underneath the shadow of His wings. In my quiet times with Him, He has taught me who I am and what it means to be in love.  It’s His love that sustains us. It’s never knowledge. You can know all you want to know about God but until you know Him you’ve missed the point. I’ve learned  it’s not where you go that will determine the amount you will discover God, but the amount of desire you have to discover Him. If you desire to know Him He will find you and meet you wherever you are. You don’t have to be in Africa or listening to amazing teachers to experience Him.  You only have to be seeking Him. He is a faithful God and yearns to bless you. If you turn your face towards Him He is more than ready to meet you and bless you in this moment. Thanks everyone for the prayers of protection and love you are sending my way. I really feel overwhelmed with gratitude for my community at home. Love you all!

How precious is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light. –Psalm 36:7-9

Caught up in a moment

Life is composed of a series of moments. Just a moment, just a decision, just an idea, can forever change the course of your life. That's what dreams are made of; a crazy idea, a decision to do it, and a moment of action. As I'm getting ready to leave for Mozambique in just a couple hours, I  keep wondering how it is that this dream is actually becoming a reality. It's surreal when you reach a moment in your life that you know is a turning point for the rest of it. That's how I feel today, I'm caught up in a moment of disbelief. Watching all the puzzle pieces of my life fit together before my eyes. As all the pieces start to fall into place I see that they all start to point in this direction. It's not a coincidence, no, a master artist has been crafting this puzzle for a while now, mending the broken pieces and finding the lost ones. As I let all my pointless anxiety fade away, I begin to see clearly that this is where I belong. And as I walk into this new season of life, I know I'm being led straight to my maker.
It's peaceful to know you're not in control. When you let go of your own plans for your life, there you will find peace and overwhelming joy. This is what I have found in Jesus, He is all I need, and He has provided me with the blueprints for a fufilled life. I trust Him, because He knows me better that I know myself and loves me more that I could ever love myself. I know He is for me and will never be against me. I feel His presense all around and I know what he has planned for me this summer is so much greater than anything I could have imagained. He is love, and He is life. What more could I want? I will go to the ends of the earth to know Him more. There is nothing I won't give or sacrifice to be able to love Him more. I know I am more than a conqueror in this season of my life because He who lives within me is greater that He who lives in the world. So therefore I am not afraid, He makes me brave. There is no safer place than being in the middle of his will, nothing more satisfying than responding to the calling of His voice. As I abide in Him, I will see unprecedented fruit and be able to express a kind of love I've never seen before. I praise Him for His goodness and faithfulness to me, I can't wait to see what He has in store next. Love you all, I'll be updating this blog hopefully weekly!

Jailbreak

Our generation is trapped in the prison of comparison. 

In everything we do, we look around to see if we measure up. Am I good enough? Pretty enough? Smart enough? Funny enough? We put ourselves on display like jesters hoping to measure up to the rest of the crowd, not wanting to be forgotten about and left alone. We look for validation in all the wrong places. It even spills over in to our relationship with God. In the church I find that most people feel inadequate. They sit back in the pew and wish they could be as good of a speaker as the preacher, or they wish they could sing like the worship leader, or they desire to have an amazing testimony like their friend. As we sit back and ponder these things, we come to the conclusion that God must just love that person more, or maybe they served Him better. Then we think to ourselves, now I'll just go try harder and serve him and sacrifice all that I can and read the Bible 5 times over, then God will have to love me as much as that person!
These thoughts are all too familiar to me, because I too was stuck in the prison of comparing and validating my faith by looking at other people who were deemed "great spiritual leaders". But I broke free, and you can too. Jesus love you 100 percent, 100 percent of the time. No matter what you did in the past or what you do in the future, His love for you is exactly the same. You can neither earn it, nor can it be taken away from you. He loves you the same amount as the person you deem as the worst "sinner" in the world, and as much as the person you deem as the "holiest" in the world.
What we need to realize though is the way He loves each of is unique, because we are all unique in our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes. Instead of looking to someone else's relationship with Him, wishing yours was that, meet Him where you are in yours. Love Him where you are. Your relationship with Him doesn't have to look like anyone elses, and that's the freedom in Christ. You may feel like God wants you to dance like a crazy animal in worship, then do it! Or you might be the person who God is telling to sit and be silent in prayer, then do it! You don't have to be dancing like a crazy animal for God to love you as much as that person. He tells us each different things! You can't make your relationship with Him look like other people's or you lose the unique value of it that God values so tenderly.

Only when we cling to the relationship God is calling us too do we fulfill our God given destinies. Looking to others for direction in what God is calling us to will only leave us on the back pew, feeling lonely and insignificant. 





For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous--how well I know it.- Psalm 139:14

Love you all,

Brittany

Hindsight

As the year of 2011 comes to a close I can't help but reflect on the wonder and excitement of it. It truly has been a year of unparallelled learning and growth. When reminiscing, I realize that the only endeavors that sing a song of success and satisfaction in my heart are those that advanced my Father's Kingdom. However,  in the moment, when choosing God's plan over my own, it felt as if I was loosing everything that would lead to a year of happiness and satisfaction . It's funny how our own ideas of what will make us happy are usually wrong in the end. We always think comfort, familiarity, and self-seeking endeavors will lead to greater fulfillment. However, this year my experiences proved quite the opposite. My greatest accomplishments were achieved when choosing risk over comfort, peace over fear, patience over assertiveness, love over revenge, and faith over unbelief. No doubt that in those moments of opposition my human wisdom would try to tell me that I was running away from happiness instead of towards it. But also in those moments I heard the quiet whispers of my Father telling me He alone knew what was best and would bring about true happiness. In the end He won; His truth won. The rewards He brought highly outweighed the sacrifices I made . His way truly is good, His love truly is perfect, and His provision truly is the only way to satisfaction.

Jesus said to her,  "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; -John 11:25

Because of Him, this year I was able to see and hear things I've only dreamed about. These are just some of my favorites, He's so good to me that I couldn't even list them all.  This year I got to; hear the passionate cry of a prodigal son's heart return to the Father, experience the healing power of the Holy Spirit,  hold in my arms the true definition of humility, see a wounded heart restored to fullness then set on fire for Jesus, walk into my calling, discover the depths of friendships,  look fear in the face and destroy it,  find my identity in Christ alone, walk out of the prison of people's approval,  see the passion of a generation rise up to glorify their Savior, experience first hand what it means to be poor in spirit,  raft down the Nile River, stomp on Satan's head,  discover just the beginnings of the heights, the depths, the vastness of His love, and truly find  satisfation, peace, freedom, and happiness.


Jesus, 2012's all for you, you know just what to do with my heart. I give myself away and allow you to lead. Take me on the path that leads to life.

God's way is perfect. All the LORD's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.- 2 Samuel 22:31



Love always,

Brittany <3